To Be Hollow
by cole231
Summary: He isn't stalking Ikkaku. He doesn't want to stay with Nnoitra. And he certainly isn't turning into something else. Yumichika/Nnoitra onesided Yumichika/Ikkaku. One shot.


Yumichika Ayasegawa, mighty captain of the fifth division, wielder of one of the most powerful zanpakto's of his generation, was stalking his ex boyfriend. Not necessarily 'stalking' because it is such an ugly word but it was at least just following. Following that seemed to be often and hidden, albeit following.

Honestly he didn't know how it had started. How could he be doing this to himself? Yearning for something that could never be, something that he may never be able to return to given his current situation. Probably about a month after he, Ikkaku, and Renji had been promoted to captain. It just so happened that a week before that Ikkaku had left him..actually walked out on _him. _It was a crazy thought to conceive of because well, look at him. Yumichika was powerful, loyal, he had everything. So what is so good about Izuru Kira?

Nothing.

Yumichika ran his fingers lightly on the wall beside him as he strolled through the third division, almost as if he was supposed to be here. They were down there walking together like nothing had happened at all. Like Ikkaku hadn't been cheating on him, like they were just a normal captain and lieutenant. Everyone was close with their lieutenants, weren't they supposed to be at least?

Not Yumichika, he had no need for a lieutenant. Not two moments after he had been given the crown he had stripped Momo's title and people have been fighting for it ever since. Most of Ikkaku's friends had been so angry with him but as he told them 'The fifth division is the most beautiful, we have no need for the weak'. And that was it. They were mad at him and he was mad at them. The bastards all knew about Ikkaku and they just turned their cheek, how could they?

In fact, how could Ikkaku? How can someone be in a relationship for over one hundred long years and not care about them. After all that time..it was a waste. Yumichika was a waste. That was why this why all those strange things kept happening to him. But that wasn't why he followed them. Walking along this path and just trying to figure everything out was how he kept grounded. This didn't seem like reality, it certainly felt odd, like he had died and this was an everlasting nightmare of pain. In this nightmare Yumichika had made some big mistakes.

Yumichika paused as Ikkaku stopped and took Izuru by the forearm, seemingly pointing something out over the horizon. That's when the alarms went off. The fifth division captain watched as Ikkaku and his boy ran toward their offices. He didn't even bother to move until the hell butterfly floated toward him and he heard the message.

The captain turned on his heels and slowly made his way to where they were told to meet. He flicked his finger and let the butterfly carry a message for his third seat. Today he wasn't much in the mood but if a battle was going to break out he would be expected to show up. Ever since he had achieved Bankai it seemed that's all they wanted of him. It was always 'be here and kill Ayasegawa' or 'lead your troops for this' code for -go kill who we tell you to.

Yumichika hated it. He didn't want to be a murderer. It wasn't like he hadn't killed anyone before but the number was growing rapidly. He had never had that blood lust that Zaraki or Ikkaku had. Yumichika would rather sit back in his courtyard with a cup of something sweet and a flower bed to soothe his spirits. But now that he was a captain everything had changed, and not just that something stirring inside of him willing him to rip out his own brains.

For one, now he was respected. Before he had been feared but now it was like it didn't matter what they thought. Yumichika figured out very quickly the joys of being at the top and it had been fun for only about five minutes. Now he didn't dress in a shinigami uniform. Yumichika wore his blue kimono with large peacock designs on the back with his captain's robe loosely thrown over his shoulders. He had grown his hair out a bit past his shoulders and the orange accessories were gone. The only thing he did keep were his magnificent feathers although now they were black, this because he no longer had anyone to shine his magnificent colors for. Now it seemed that a slow death was taking over him and he didn't know if he would ever be free.

There was something Yumichika didn't tell anyone about his Rui'iro Kujaku. For one, to use his Bankai he was forced to take in his enemy. Essentially eating them alive, and cannibalism was simply not good for one's sanity which happens to be very bad for your skin. Well it felt agonizing, he held it well but he was fine for now. But to save someone with his Bankai was a different thing completely; it was like they gave him apart of their souls. He found himself being able to call on their zanpakto's, to change into their faces, to do anything he wanted in their skin.

"Captain Ayasegawa!" one of his officers said in haste and came to his side. Yumichika blinked slowly and didn't bother to take a look around. It looked as if he was the last captain of the few sent to arrive. They all stood on a large hill top and he could feel many enemies approaching. Closing his eyes, Yumichika listened to their heartbeats and quickly found the strongest of the bunch.

"Ayasegawa!" the light voice of the thirteenth division interrupted his thoughts and he slowly turned his head toward the old man. It seemed that everyone was now looking directly at him and he knew why. "Your thoughts on the matter?"

"They are not shinigami" he said simply before turning back in the direction they were headed in.

"Oh, well that solves everything don't it" Renji chided. Yumichika closed his eyes and drew his zanpakto. If he could simply get into the mind of their leader then he could figure out their goal.

"Rui'iro Kujaku.." he whispered and held up his blade. About a mile away a vine popped out of the ground and loud cries could be heard from where they stood. Then there was something coming toward him quickly, too quickly..it was large and long. Yumichika put his hand up and held up a kido shield as a spear nearly took off his head. With a loud scream Yumichika was pushed back several yards as he attempted to stop the weapon.

"Yumichika!" Jyuushiro's worried voice yelled out as the object became too strong to hold and he let go. Yumichika side stepped it and brought his zanpakto up and a loud clash could be heard. The captain looked up to see a grinning devil. He was at least seven foot tall and was the owner of the spear. The man was an espada, and it wasn't only obvious because of the hole in his head.

Many shinigami battled around the two but Yumichika seemed frozen in the man's one eyed gaze. It was strange but in all the times that he had looked into that eye he had never gotten in. Yumichika could hear several people yelling his various names but he felt the need to ignore them.

"Hey beautiful" the man said as he licked his lips and took a look down at Yumichika's form. "If I'da known it was you I wouldn't have thrown Santa Teresa so hard" The fifth division captain gasped as his wrist was grabbed onto and instantly froze as he felt something prick his skin. "Aw, thought you would be more of a fight this time"

Yumichika's eyes blinked several times and soon all he saw was blackness. Up until this point he didn't think he had a weakness, you really do learn new things every day.

(**)

When Yumichika came to he was in a large white room. He lay on top of a large white bed with a big white comforter and a lot of weapons strewn across the white walls. The captain knew there might not be a point in trying to escape just yet. He certainly was interested in why exactly he was here and not dead.

At first when he has seen darkness he was actually relieved. Yumichika had actually thought maybe someone had given him the death he had so long yearned for. It may be an ugly way to go but it was a way and at this moment it was good enough for him.

"Yer awake" a voice said from the doorway of the giant sized room. Yumichika wasn't exactly surprised that the voice belonged to the giant sized monster, the same man who had pricked him. The tiny thing was most likely some powerful sedative, or maybe even some kind of witch's magic. Not that it mattered though, if he was going to die it might as well be after the sedation came. After all, pain is pleasure. It was funny but Yumichika had never actually been in his room.

"It looks that way, doesn't it?" he said with superior infection.

"Neh" his tongue clicked. "Really did think you'd be a fight. All those stories goin' around and everything. Didn't think the blow pop would be so tame"

"Blow pop?" Yumichika asked with amusement and leaned up on his elbows. The large espada just nodded and a devilish grin came over his features.

"Yeah well I kinda know for a fact that ya got some powerful fuckin' sucking features, bitch" Yumichika snorted and rolled his eyes at the perverted being. Obviously the espada didn't know who he was talking to so he just ignored it and lay back on the soft mattress.

"Can we get to the point, Espada?" he asked and closed his eyes.

"Give me one a yer petals and you can be on yer way, alright?" Yumichika let out a chuckle.

"I certainly am not giving you anything of mine"

"Tsh" the man sounded and pushed off of the wall to approach the bed. "Look, I went through all this trouble ta get yer ass here and I don't wanna hear no lip. I didn't even chain yer pretty wrists up just ta show you I wasn't trying ta kill ya"

"Hm..strange, you seem like the type" Yumichika didn't move as a weight settled beside him and leaned to hover over his body.

"Well I do got some ropes under the bed and if that's your thing I'd be more than happy to..help ya out" the leechy grin came back and Yumichika just looked up at him. Suddenly a thought struck his mind and he returned it with an equally mischievous look.

"Alright Espada..how about this?" Yumichika purred and sank down into the cushion's to move under the hollow. "If you can satisfy my every whim for the night I'll give you whatever it is that you want" The tall man seemed taken aback for about a half a second before squinting his eyes and looking down at him with anger.

"I'm not one of yer brainless shinigami, yer not gonna-" Yumichika hummed to himself as he began to untie his kimono and the man's eyes seemed fixated on him. "Trick me" the espada finished lowly as his naked body became exposed. Yumichika bit his lip as he ran his hands up the long torso above him and was rewarded with a shiver from the man.

"It's been a while Nnoi" he whispered as he reached forward to unbutton the long coat the hollow wore. "So long" Nnoitra pushed his hips down to rub them against his naked form and Yumichika let out a cry of delight.

"Fuckin..er" Nnoitra swore and let Yumichika disrobe him with little help. The now third espada hadn't seen this little vixen since the crescent and he was dying. Yeah he might have gone a little overboard in the whole kidnapping thing but this was a need. If Nnoitra didn't get that flower all would be lost and Yumichika was the only one who could give it to him.

"So what is this huh? Every time one of your men gets terminal you come to me and beg?" Yumichika asked with a smirk. Yes Yumichika Ayasegawa had a little secret of his own. Not only had he been healing anyone who asked, he had been healing enemies of the soul society. In his mind it wasn't his part to judge who deserved to live, not even if one day they may try to kill him.

"M' not beggin tanight pretty boy" Nnoitra growled and curled his hand around the captains cock, urging it to grow lively so he might enjoy this time before he got hurt..again. He trailed his finger's between Yumichika's cheeks and smiled at the sound of pleasure he received. "Gettin' sensitive on me there Yuminii?"

"Ah!" Yumichika gasped out as a dry finger came to wedge its way into his hole roughly. "Fuck- don't..mm..call me that alright" Yumichika blinked his eyes as one of Nnoitra's hands came under the pillow his head was on and a bottle of clear liquid was pulled out. If there was anything he liked about this violent lover it would be his need for preparation. Because when Nnoitra Jigura was going to have sex he was going to get it, and it was 'going ta be fuckin' pleasurable for them both or he's not puttin' his dick in anyone'.

"So Yuminii, when is the last time hm? I know you weren't waitin' around fer me were ya?" Yumichika tensed and bucked up as two slicked finger's made their way into him and gently prodded his insides. At first he had tried to not show it on his face that Nnoitra had found his sweet spot but the bastard had plastered this all knowing grin of evil and Yumichika knew he had been caught.

"Oh" he said more hopefully then it should have come out and dug his head back into the pillow. "Never wait for you Nnoi" he said lightly and moved away as a punch, intended for his nose, hit the bed. His eyes opened to look up into the almost hurt expression and he winced as he was roughly flipped around and brought to his hands and knees.

"Alright then, see and I was trying to be nice but then ya just got to hurt my feelings. Neh, and it was going to be so good fer ya this time" Nnoitra said wickedly as he coated his hard length in the rest of the lube that had been on his fingers and grasped roughly onto Yumichika's waist.

Nnoitra's hands briefly kneeded the captain's hips and leaned down to kiss the back of the other man's head. Yumichika looked back and for a moment their eyes connected. Just like the first time, eh Nnoitra? He thought to himself as a large head made it's way to his entrance.

Now it wasn't like Yumichika didn't like Nnoitra's penis or anything but most would agree with him that it was too big. He had only once attempted to swallow the damned whale like entity and it was scary in itself. It was long, hard, and had thick veins running along the sides. Something perfectly fitting to a man who was the size of a building, who would have thought he didn't have a monster dick to match?

Yumichika put his hand on Nnoitra's wrist and arched down as the cock began to slowly force it's way into him. His mouth dropped open in a silent moan as he felt the tall man sink into him inch by inch. Nnoitra's hands did a good job in rubbing him sensuously, he whispered words of praise as he watched himself, but nothing helped. With Yumichika healing himself up almost every moment of the day he wasn't exactly getting loose any time soon. And with that, Nnoitra wasn't exactly getting smaller.

The captain panted out harshly as he heard Nnoitra groan and braced himself for the sudden intrusion. His eyes grew wide and he lowered his forehead to the pillow as the tall man finally sheathed himself fully inside of him and his head rested on the back of his own.

"Fuck Yumi..ya really do have the sweetest pussy" Nnoitra said and tried to regain his composure. He didn't want to just pound into the boy or else he would have to wait to have sex again until he found someone to drain. But also he didn't want to hurt Yumichika..well not much at least.

Nnoitra's fingers became entangled in Yumichika's hair and pulled him against his naked stomach. In this position the captain's head only came up to his collarbone, not that it mattered. It just made for some awkward kissing. The beautiful shinigami's eyes just fluttered open, mouth still dropped, as Nnoitra pulled back slowly before thrusting back in savagely. Yumichika cried out and his other hand found its way to grip onto the headboard as this motion was repeated again and again.

Soon Yumichika's hips came back to meet Nnoitra's thrusts and the pace quickened viciously. Yumichika bit his lip as Nnoitra's angling changed and he was soon being pounded into a very gratifying state of pleasure. Waves coursed through him as the espada took him roughly. Nnoitra's hand came to wrap around him and keep a tight hold on his neck as he held him in place and pumped into him.

Yumichika let out an unexpected whimper as he was held and just plain fucked violently. This is what he loved from Nnoitra, the espada had never been wary about throwing him on top of something and hurting him. He didn't care that Yumichika could destroy him if he wanted to and he didn't cry when he asked him for a little roughness in the bedroom. Not like Ikkaku who's simple response to him wanting it harder was 'well, it's not like I want to rape you'.

The captain gasped as Nnoitra swiftly withdrew and flipped him to lay on his back. The tall man spread his legs out wide and looked down at his naked body with a smile. He let out a cry of surprise as the espada surged back in without warning and hunched over him to continue the treatment. "Nnoi.." he moaned out and looked above him into the hollow's purple eye.

"Wanna..eh..see..ya Yumi. Fuck yerself for me neh?" Nnoitra commanded and pulled Yumichika's wrist to his painful erection. The captain's eyes snapped as wide as they could go and he tried to last. Really he did. But with Nnoitra looking down at him with that heated lusty expression and the world seeming to become watercolors around them Yumichika was trapped in his own pleasure. He began to shiver from the force and his thighs clamped down onto the big man's hips as he threw his head back and opened his mouth wide. In about two pumps he came all over Nnoitra's stomach and his own with a loud scream.

At the feeling of Yumichika's release Nnoitra let out a grunt and pounded all the harder into the small body beneath him. Within a minute he was soon collapsed onto Yumichika as he emptied his seed into the captain. The shinigami wrapped his arms around the tall man's neck and took a deep breath as the waves of pleasure coursed through their body as Nnoitra lazily rode out their orgasms.

Yumichika let out a sigh of discomfort as Nnoitra pulled out his half hard member and raised himself on his elbows to look down at him. The tall man moved down so they could lay face to face and that bright smile widened on his lips. "Ready for round two?" Nnoitra asked mischievously before placing a kiss on Yumichika's chin.

"Mm" he hummed out and looked into the purple eye.

Yumichika silently wondered if he had made the right decision. When the winter war ended and they were still scavenging to kill off the remaining espada he had saved Nnoitra and his small group. When the soul society found out that more espada were alive they had been enraged, even tried to come kill them but they were growing strong. Now that Aizen wasn't in the picture everything seemed to be going their way.

About a month after Yumichika had saved the tall man had he found him lurking around in the human world. It wasn't but a week after he and Ikkaku had broken up and Nnoitra turned out to be a comfortable solace. At the time he was picked to become a captain and he wasn't exactly happy about it. Ever since then well, this, had been happening. Yumichika knew he was spending too much time with the tall man. His body was taking in energy that shouldn't course through his veins and it was having adverse effects.

"You could have just sent a letter" Yumichika whispered as his fingers traced lines into the prominent jaw line of his lover.

"Neh, where's the fun in that" Nnoitra grinned and thrust his hardening member against Yumichika's calf. "Wanted ya here..needed a fresh bloom neh..not one a those couple day old slouches" Yumichika let out a small laugh.

"And what am I going to tell my superior, hm?" Nnoitra shrugged and made small bites along his neck.

"Arrancar training sessions gone wild..yanno the story" Yumichika nodded and smiled up at the hollow. "..hey Yumi"

"Yeah Nnoi?" he asked, even though he knew the question. Nnoitra always asked it like this, right after some heated sex he would always have to just throw in another slow death.

"Why don't cha..stay? Fer a couple days.." Yumichika laughed and shook his head.

"Please not again" he whispered and that was it. After a few moments of silence he blinked his eyes of the burning tears. Each time he found himself in this position all the captain wanted to do was cry. It was a numbing that he and Nnoitra needed in each other but it wasn't like this was an actual relationship. Soon Yumichika would have to get up and go back to the Seritei. It always ended, he always left, and he would wonder why it wasn't a good idea to stay in the first place. Oh yeah, because Nnoitra didn't love and Yumichika was a shinigami. Plain and simple.

"Think im ready for that second round Jigura-sama" Yumichika whispered deviously and leaned up to lick the man on his lips. Nnoitra's defeated expression seemed to melt into something more playful in a split second. He smiled as Nnoitra shuddered a little and soon felt a hard cock shifting up and down on his inner thigh.

"Oh, really?"

(**)

When Yumichika got back to the soul society they were all relieved. Honestly he didn't see what the big deal was about, he was only gone for a day and they had already called up a rescue team. He had laughed in their faces, called them weak, and turned his back on his former friends. They must have been insane believing he didn't remember the past. He remembered it all.

Yumichika could still clearly remember the look on Ikkaku's face when he told him he was leaving. The way he had caught all of them in lies when he asked where Ikkaku had gone for the sixth night in a row. The way they shied from him when they found out about his zanpakto. They still looked at him differently because of it and Yumichika wouldn't forget that either.

Yumichika wouldn't call it stalking but he still did it. As he walked along the tops of the roofs in the third division all he could do was wonder. He wondered why someone like Ikkaku and Izuru could be happy and he was refused the joy. Izuru was nothing compared to him and yet he had everything that he wanted in the world.

The reason Yumichika walked this path was simple. When Ikkaku left him he had deemed himself unbeautiful. He found himself depressed and wishing for death to come. Yumichika had become a lesser version of his once happy self. When he allowed Nnoitra to fuck him the first time it felt like he had died, the espada was so cold and harsh. He certainly did live up to his reputation. Yumichika had since become a hollowed out shell of himself and just simply watching the two walking was a simple reminder that he was here. He wasn't in Hueco Mundo and he wasn't being pulled into hell slowly by his inner self.

The hollow masks that kept appearing on him weren't real and at one point in time that was him. Long ago before Izuru was a thought in the bald man's head he would walk like that. This reminded him of the calm he had felt in the time before. This sadness he felt needed to stay inside and if he had to follow Ikkaku around out of sight to stay sane and continue to be shinigami, well that's just what he would have to do.

(**)

_Thanks for reading. This was a really strange thing to write. I don't really know if it should be one sided Yumichika/Ikkaku or one sided Yumichika/Nnoitra. You decide._

_It was a hastily written story so I hope it came across properly. Yumichika/Nnoitra is just such a strange pairing to write to me but neh, here it is! R&R. Critisism is very welcome._

_-cole-_


End file.
